The Difficulties of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is one of the hardest things to do, especially if you or a loved one is the target of a violent crime, an unfair situation, or other traumas.

When coaching others about forgiveness, I’m asked repeatedly, “Why would I forgive my abuser and absolve him of his actions?”

My answer is always the same, “You’re not. You forgive to release your deep wounds and toxic emotions that prevent you from living.”

When you harbor deep-rooted, toxic emotions in your soul toward your abuser or a situation, you’re not punishing the abuser. You’re punishing yourself.

When you forgive your offender, you don’t exonerate them from their actions or excuse what they did. The forgiveness is not for them; it’s for you so that you can set yourself free.

This doesn’t mean you need to engage in an exchange of conscious reciprocity. Forgiveness comes from the heart and can be done privately.

What you feel and experience is real. No one can tell you it isn’t.

When you suffer a trauma, you continually replay that memory and relive the traumatic event. On some level of consciousness, holding onto the trauma and emotions makes you feel that you’re somehow punishing your abuser.

By refusing to forgive, you feel you are hurting your abuser as much as they hurt or damaged
you.

But who is truly suffering?

It isn’t your abuser. It’s you because his actions still consume you with poison that continues to harm you emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually.

The opposite of forgiveness is judgment, vengeance, and blame.

As long as you hold this toxicity within you, your abuser maintains control over you because the vibrational frequency you’ve attached to these emotions causes a split between you and your inner alignment with your higher self — your higher consciousness.

In other words, the vibrational frequency you’re putting out to the universe returns to you.

The universe doesn’t distinguish between what you want or don’t want. It can only pick up the frequency of your emotions and return more of what you’re putting out. It’s the universal law of attraction.

This is why healing is nearly impossible when you’re in survivor mode.

It’s a choice only you can make — to remain the wounded victim, which is disempowering and highly toxic to your well-being, or to take your power back.

Taking back your power releases you from emotional hell and allows you to reclaim your freedom because your consciousness remains in the present moment, not the past or the future.

When you forgive, you release the emotional turmoil that’s kept you handicapped and trapped.

Hatred is poisonous to your system. The longer you replay the events in your mind, the longer you remain in a kind of prison.

By no means does this diminish the injustice you experienced. Again, what you felt and continue to feel is real.

The repressed emotions that keep filtering up should be respected but not keep you paralyzed in fear, anger, or shame. They shouldn’t convince you that you’re powerless.

Forgiveness allows you to end your suffering, embrace your power, regain your life, and heal from the trauma.

Forgiveness.
It’s such a simple word, but it is so powerful that it can define or destroy our lives.

 

The Benefits of Forgiveness

When I started my own healing journey, I struggled with forgiveness. I remained an unconscious victim for many years. The thought of forgiving those who had caused me so much pain and turmoil seemed unspeakable. However, I longed for freedom, peace, and joy, just like
the other women in this book.

To experience the life you long for, a death must occur — the death of the story you have gripped so tightly. And with that death comes a rebirth.

Once you can forgive completely, your life will change radically. A sense of peace will radiate through you.

You’ll begin to express gratitude as your divine plan unfolds because you’ve released your old story and the energy attached to it.

You’ll have the courage and inspiration to engage in activities that bring you happiness. You’ll experience synchronicities and be receptive to miracles.

And you’ll learn the power of loving yourself unconditionally and setting healthy boundaries.

Forgiveness removes victim consciousness and restores love because we understand our experiences are the unfoldment of our Divine Plan to heal and evolve to higher consciousness. It begins with forgiveness.

I spent years trying to heal without forgiving my abusers and wondered why my life only worsened. After I worked through the same exercises and understood the information I’m sharing with you, I reached a point where I was ready to forgive and accept the gifts my trauma brought me.

How could I experience the duality of light without darkness? Love without forgiveness? Or have the perseverance to reclaim my life?

The abusers fulfilled their contracts as agreed. I wouldn’t be the strong, independent woman I am today if I hadn’t endured these lessons. I’ve had many lifetimes of abuse, betrayal, and deception. In this lifetime, I agree to heal these patterns, learn to love myself, and be fearlessly
authentic.

My tender, loving husband, Steve, taught me the true meaning of love, devotion, and forgiveness. He is a beacon of light and true integrity. Steve and my dear friend and devoted Self-Mastery Coach and Mentor, DyAnn, have been the teachers who taught me that embracing the richness of life experiences comes from the heart, not the mind.

Living from the heart is a deeply personal and individual journey. It’s about seeking authenticity, emotional connection, and a more compassionate way of relating to yourself and the world around you.

It does not entail forsaking reason or logic but rather uniting them with your emotional and intuitive capabilities to guide you toward a life filled with greater fulfillment and purpose.

Now, it’s your turn. Armed with the knowledge you’ve gathered thus far, are you ready to leave your emotional prison and thrive? In my upcoming book, Courageously Authentic, the full chapter on Liberation through Forgiveness: Embracing the Power of Letting Go, includes practical exercises that will guide you through the process, helping you fully embrace the transformative power of letting go. Be among the first to be notified when it is released!