Recently, I’ve been surprised by the number of calls and texts I’ve received from friends, family members, and clients who confided in me about being diagnosed with a severe illness or that of a loved one.

What struck me the most was how many were young adults, making the news even more shocking. While listening to their stories, I could feel the weight of their fear, anger, and shock as I waited for the question I knew they would ask me, “Why me, Brenda? Why is this happening to
me? Why now?”

Finding the right words in questions that carry so much weight and uncertainty is difficult.

In moments like these, words often fall short. The emotions they’re feeling are so raw that they struggle to process the overwhelming reality of their diagnosis. The devastating news leaves them unsure of how to cope, and the weight of it all is nearly too much to bear.

So, how do we support them when they seek answers that only God knows?

By creating a safe space for them to express their emotions unapologetically – letting them feel heard, understood, and reassuring them that they don’t have to go through it alone.

Dealing with a chronic illness brings an experience unlike any other, one filled with physical and emotional hurdles that force you to face each day. It’s a delicate balance—caring for your body while giving yourself the space to process your feelings without being consumed by “What ifs?”

Once the shock has worn off, many often seek resilience, which can help them through difficult periods. However, it can also cause extremes—shutting down emotionally, overcompensating by trying to carry the weight alone, overextending themselves, or using avoidance tactics. Although
this may be all they can handle at the time, it weighs heavily on their overall well-being.

There are several aspects to understand when facing an illness or chronic diagnosis.

Embracing Your Emotions

Experiencing a wave of emotions such as grief, frustration, fear, anger, or a sense of loss is very common. It’s the loss of the life you pictured, the abilities you once had, and the ease of everyday tasks that you may have taken for granted.

Many feel they need to remain positive and refrain from showing vulnerability, but this can add unnecessary pressure, harming their physical, emotional, and mental health.

True strength isn’t about avoiding your feelings but recognizing and working through them. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable and letting others share your burden can bring deep healing and needed support.

Real courage doesn’t come from pretending everything is fine but acknowledging when it’s not — and knowing that’s okay.

Navigating the Pitfalls of Excessive Autonomy

When chronic illness affects your life, there can be a strong urge to prove your independence. You may want to show that you’re still capable and strong, but trying to do it alone can leave you feeling isolated and drained.

Asking for support from those who care about you or simply letting someone offer a kind word doesn’t make you less independent, nor is it a sign of weakness. You’re just allowing your loved ones to do what you would do for them.

The Practice of Letting Go

Living with illness often means coming to terms with what’s out of your control. The urge to fight relentlessly, to win against your illness, can sometimes lead to exhaustion. Letting go isn’t about giving up, but recognizing your body’s needs and allowing yourself to rest when necessary.
In letting go, peace comes from honoring where you are without guilt or self-judgment. In these moments of surrender, you can find renewal and strength.

Healing From Within

Your body is a perfect barometer for alerting you when you’re out of balance or harboring deep-seated emotions. When this happens, it can manifest into physical symptoms. Louise Hay (1984), New York Times bestselling author and founder of Hay House, wrote in her book, You Can Heal Your Life, that there is a direct correlation between disease and emotions.

By allowing yourself to explore which emotions you may still be holding onto, you open the door to healing.

Forgiveness—both for yourself and others — is an essential first step to releasing, healing, and restoring balance.

 

Harnessing Your Inner Resilience

Illness can sometimes make it hard to remember who you are beyond the diagnosis. It’s easy to feel like your illness defines you, but deep within, you are still whole. Reconnecting with your inner resilience—through creativity, hobbies you love, or spiritual practices—can remind you that
you are so much more than your physical condition.

Strength doesn’t come from denying your illness but from recognizing the power and resilience within you despite it.

Final Reflections

Living with a chronic illness requires immense strength and resilience that few truly understand until they experience it themselves.

It pushes you to find peace, hope, and faith during difficult times when the future seems uncertain. It’s also a silent nudge encouraging you to look deep within yourself and uncover the unhealed emotions or unresolved trauma that may be contributing to your condition.

An experience like this can transform you into a more resilient, authentic version of yourself because illnesses can change you so profoundly that you aren’t the same person you were before the disease struck.

Get ready to transform your life! Pre-orders for Courageously Authentic: A Woman’s Guide to Transform Pain into Power, Fear into Courage, and Dreams into Reality open this November. Be among the first to get a copy!